Over the past couple of years I have been having the most bizarre reoccurring dream. First, I’m in America, happily married to a beautiful woman (so it starts off pleasant enough!), and we have a load of young kids together (again, all very pleasant, at least as far as I’m concerned). We live in a nice house, not too small, not too big – just what I’ve always wanted. God knows what we both do for a living, but it seems we’re doing quite well, and our kids are happy and healthy (the number of happy kids we have seems to fluctuate between 4 and 15 between dreams for no discernible reason, but I’m down with that).
Anyway, one day, out of nowhere, the sperm donor turns up at our door with his wife in tow (apparently it was an anonymous thing so god knows how he found us… oh well!). He tells us that since his last donation he got into an accident which has left him sterile, and asks us for his sperm back. Weird enough, right? Buuutt we oblige, feeling sorry for the poor man, and knowing that if we did want any more kids we could use the frozen embryos we just happen to have lying around some lab somewhere. Yeah, I know…
Unfortunately for him his stuff doesn’t last long enough to get his wife pregnant. Not our problem, you would assume, right? Wrong. He then lawyers up and takes us to court over the embryos. In a panic I have them all implanted before he can get an injunction* to stop us from doing so. Pissed, the donor decides he’s not quite done ruining our lives. So now me and my wife find ourselves in a situation where we’re battling a sperm donor for custody of an unknown quantity of fetuses. Don’t ask me who wins, I have never found out.
Usually the donor’s infertility is caused by some accident (I remember one where it was a car accident, and one where it was an injury sustained in battle), but a couple of months ago a completely new infertility causing situation arose in the dreams – as if it couldn’t get any fucking weirder – the donor transitioned to live as a woman. Where once the worry seemed to be a homophobic judge siding with the straight couple, now me and my dream wife worry about a liberal media frenzy.
Like I said, I never do get a resolution to the dream, but events usually go a little something like this:
- Happy family situation – like that feeling where you just know, ya know?
- Suddenly talking to the donor
- Give sperm
- Letter from a lawyer demanding the embryos
- Am suddenly pregnant with all the embryos
- Wife is now suddenly worried about a foetus custody trial
- Worrying about homophobic judge/liberal media frenzy
- Wake up/another dream suddenly starts
I’m not into dreamology or whatever the fuck it’s called, but can someone please explain to me what the fuck this is all about? Because I’m fresh out of ideas here. It can’t be as simple as me watching too much Ally McBeal and Law & Order, along with spending too much time online reading about trans related shyte, right?
Also, should I turn this into a script…? XD
*is that even how injunctions work?